Saturday, January 24, 2009

Rising With God's Help

Another journey begins today
My mind slows so with inventive thoughts that I dare not keep at way
So I rise, each second, stars flashing, my heart racing
As I follow the hand that leads
The voice that encourages
God, of course
For I cannot take any journey without him
I cannot reach any mountain top without him
I cannot be the best that I possibly can be without him
So today as I journey
I’ll also be praying
Giving thanks, moving forward in my daily mission
To rise and keep in rising
As high as HE allows me.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Perfect That Is Not

If ever there is perfection
Let me find it
Touch and see if luck comes my way.
If ever there is perfection
Please paint a picture
Because I have to see what it looks like.
If ever there is perfection
Is it actually in life
Upon a golden pond
Of which everyone could reflect.
If ever there is perfection
From whose frame does it rest
Because it’s certainly not mine
But what is perfection?
Has anyone ever seen?
Has anyone ever been
So perfect that red carpets are laid for your every walk?
Probably not
Because in life there’s no such thing as perfect.

Black Man's Greed

We die and our deaths,
While so tragic and weakening of the mind and soul
Of those we’ve left behind
Go analyzed as truths are sought.
Another black man, gone, buried beneath the soil,
Either now in heaven or hell,
A passage through the gate of one or the other
Depending on how one’s life was lived.
But we are dead, nonetheless,
No more battles to fight, triumphs to seek.
And from what incomprehensible cause, perhaps carelessness
Led to the expiration of another black man’s life.
Cancer, AIDS, alcoholism, diabetes?
But, while each is deadly, they are not the sole cause,
Even if diagnosis often says so.
Mirror, please. Shadows are about to come to light
As truths are unveiled
For it is greed, greed that never ends,
That has unconsciously damaged over time,
Ultimately killed the black mind, the black man,
Left the black race vulnerable, unknowingly susceptible
To more bad decisions, fatal crashes in our every day walk,
Our concepts, perceptions just misconstrued.
And why? For eventual darkness and burial?
Death that could have been prevented
Were it not for greed,
The greed to destroy our minds with drugs
The greed that arouses, creates relentless sexual drive
The greed to steal, fight, even senselessly kill
The greed to always want, want, want,
Maybe even gamble with money you don’t even have.
Damn, what about just giving?
Focusing on the non-material?
What about destroying that pipe, trashing those blunts,
Drinking water over vodka more often than not?
What about walking away from every woman who opens her legs,
’Cause what happens when one is stinky, doped up, basically a skeleton
walking about in the night?
What about being more considerate for other people’s property,
’Cause stealing another man’s car, his cash, heck, even his woman
Can’t cause nothing but pain, maybe even a bullet to the head.
What about keeping your dukes down and walking away from
Even the great Romans and heavyweight boxers have experienced the
bite of defeat, so a normal man is sure to fall,
Maybe to never rise and see sunlight again
As with the case with so many thugs, who kill and then are eventually
Never ever having developed the understanding that black on black
crime only hurts black,
Demeans, punishes, shrinks.
Boom, boom, we need no more of, for the pistol has been long misused.
Just calculate the deaths, read over the obituaries.
There within lies far too traumatic tales,
Deaths that were over far too much greed
And as a result, greed that has been like a lethal virus
For the black man, black race has suffered
And will continue so unless we change, lifestyles, missions,
Love, share, and prosper more,
Be as black that only grows and not evaporates.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Life's Extension

It all happened with force,
A sudden impact with another car and stars that flashed into the night,
My own, unfortunately.
Instantly dazed I became.
Oh no, oh no, what’s happened?
Oh, no, please no, not this, not again.
Oh no, my son, my son.
My heart was just racing, tears falling quickly.
Oh no, oh no, please tell me this isn’t so,
Not tonight, not tonight.
I was just out for a cruise
And now look at my new car,
Oh damn!
And then I realized, calm restored for a moment,
I’m alive! I’m alive! My son will see me again.
I’m all he’s got, a single dad,
Loving, responsible, doing the right thing,
Except for this moment, the winding down of a night out,
And here I am, the face of death having just passed me by.
It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong
Because there is blood and disorder all around,
The sound of sirens coming,
More flashing lights,
Doom and gloom that will continue,
Then I thought again, I’m alive!
I will walk away, bruised, but I will walk,
Emotionally recover, hopefully learn, yet another harsh lesson,
But why again, so late, so late at night,
So dark, so dark, my eyes are so clouded,
Fear, all fear of what will happen next,
But I’m alive, all body parts intact,
And my son, he won’t have to go fatherless.
He’ll see me when he wakes up,
Another day together, life continued.
Oh man, why didn’t I think of him before that last drink,
Before the buzz kicked in, before, before,
Yes, once again, death stared me in the face.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Pride restored, bigger hope created

Somebody asked what has Barack Obama really done
And without hesitation
I said back
That's it's not just that he's black
Far from it
But that he's instilled pride back in our country
Hope for better days
Juvenation from young to old
And a belief that our American system can work
If we all unite, believe, stay in peace
So, my answer, I hope not only satisfied this person of whom I do not know
But affirmed to us all that keep on dreaming, keep on hoping
For hope is very much alive
For all our dreams
Big or small can happen.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Maintaining Hope

I woke up today
A man with a clouded mind
Bruised soul
But hopeful that by nightfall joy of some sort will find me
For on days like this
The less rowdy and far too cloudy
All I can do is have hope
Of better hours to come
Of a mind that will eventually be clear
Of a soul that will be healed.

Life As We Wish

If life could be
As you once envisioned
Would you want it to be wrinkle free?
So perfect that tree limbs bend
As you walk by
If only just in your mind?
If life could be
Imagination turned into reality
Would you have an ATM in your living room?
Cash flow at your every calling
Just loaded with money
In need of nothing?
If life could be
More predictable than unpredictable
Would you have that dream job?
Be engaged in the perfect marriage
Or relationship
Where two-way love overshadows all else?
If life could be …
Oh so jolly
I for one would go back to erase
My depressed childhood
Where I had no massaging hand to ease emotional pains
And at times little hope.
If life could be
As it apparently has not for many of us
From which mountain top would you like to stand
And scream
And give praise
For just still breathing?
If life could be
As we know God prefers
Would you not lie
Or cheat
Or sin
Or pay the devil any mind?
If life could be
As I must tell you it has not been for me
Would you allow prayer to be your everyday ignition
Main source of power
Your getaway from all chaos
Your gateway to a free mind.
If life could be
Pre-planned and forever unaltered
Where do you want to be today
And tomorrow and the next day
And the future?
Your life, my life, lived as always wished.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Owning up: A man and his kids

Have hard many men say
Oh what a lay!
But nine months later
Also hard nothing, except footsteps
That being men running away from her, the baby boy or girl
Away from responsibility
Away from fatherhood
Damn them, their lack of morals, their insensible, unexplained ways
And using women as the excuse
You know, “Oh, she’s a bitch!”
Or, “Oh she tricked me” doesn’t work
Not for the strong, bold, willing to step-up-to-the-plate men
As me
Yup, me, a brother who never knew for 2 ½ years about the air by which a son produced by my sperm breathed
A baby boy who spilled tear drops
Who was disturbed by nightmares, all because I was not around
To comfort, raise about, dance around with
But not due to my fault
For the woman of whom I never had feelings for but of whom I in fact laid with
Twice to be exact
One now of lifetime remembrance
For a child was conceived
And she knew, but chose to keep it a secret
One by which never would have come out without luck
A story worthy of greater detail
But also a sad story that could have led to my derail
Only I refused as I battled her, a court system, and by strong will, God’s help, my son, now 13 years old was taken out of Foster Care
And all because his mother wanted him for selfish reasons all to herself
Yet she lost him, then adjudicated another man his father
Clearing the way for me to just stay astray
But once I found out of his existence there was no other way
My son, my baby boy, oh hell no
I went for him and now he lives with me
All my responsibility, a challenge no doubt, but I am his father
And I did not run
Like far too many chicken shit dads
One standing at the top of my shit list – that being the SOB who fathered me
For I know now whether he’s alive or dead
But does it matter? He cancelled me out 41 years ago
So you see, I can’t possibly have an understanding under no circumstances for any man who abandons his kids
And check this
Ready or not
‘Cause whether I was or not, 2008 presented me with another kid, a girl 9 years old who’s mother
As if I should understand without complaint
Said simply to me, “I think I made a mistake, you may be her father,”
So I took a DNA test and it proved to be so
Another kid, another soap opera
But again I did not run
Did not quit my job, close my bank account, jump off the nearest bridge
Oh no, stronger than that
For my son and my daughter are great loves, no matter how they came into my lives
And forever they’ll be my responsibilities
Because I am a man who believes that you must take care of your kids
By every means possible.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Chocolate World

Chocolate world
Of, if only I could live
Chocolate everywhere I step, look
For the color of chocolate, candy bar aside
Is more than just a color of sweetness
Think deeper, envision more
For in a chocolate world,
Of, if only I could live
Black women would be the dominant face on TV adds and magazine covers
And black men,
Well, we’d be as our countries new leader – the face of change, mind of power, the hand that leads.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Paradise of Dreams

Here I come world
Standing at the doorsteps
Of success of endless glory
After years of marching
Within my own mind
After years of praying
To God, and of course, nobody else
But years, yes years …
Wondering all along
About my destiny
But here I come world
Standing at the doorsteps
About to knock
Hard and loud
About to knock, knock
On doors what that probably won’t be easy to open
But I’m going to knock anyway
And knock often
Because you can never get to where you want
Without heavy pursuit, without even stronger will
So knock
Knock, knock
World here I come
No drumbeat needed
Although I come with a parade of dreams.