Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Owning up: A man and his kids

Have hard many men say
Oh what a lay!
But nine months later
Also hard nothing, except footsteps
That being men running away from her, the baby boy or girl
Away from responsibility
Away from fatherhood
Damn them, their lack of morals, their insensible, unexplained ways
And using women as the excuse
You know, “Oh, she’s a bitch!”
Or, “Oh she tricked me” doesn’t work
Not for the strong, bold, willing to step-up-to-the-plate men
As me
Yup, me, a brother who never knew for 2 ½ years about the air by which a son produced by my sperm breathed
A baby boy who spilled tear drops
Who was disturbed by nightmares, all because I was not around
To comfort, raise about, dance around with
But not due to my fault
For the woman of whom I never had feelings for but of whom I in fact laid with
Twice to be exact
One now of lifetime remembrance
For a child was conceived
And she knew, but chose to keep it a secret
One by which never would have come out without luck
A story worthy of greater detail
But also a sad story that could have led to my derail
Only I refused as I battled her, a court system, and by strong will, God’s help, my son, now 13 years old was taken out of Foster Care
And all because his mother wanted him for selfish reasons all to herself
Yet she lost him, then adjudicated another man his father
Clearing the way for me to just stay astray
But once I found out of his existence there was no other way
My son, my baby boy, oh hell no
I went for him and now he lives with me
All my responsibility, a challenge no doubt, but I am his father
And I did not run
Like far too many chicken shit dads
One standing at the top of my shit list – that being the SOB who fathered me
For I know now whether he’s alive or dead
But does it matter? He cancelled me out 41 years ago
So you see, I can’t possibly have an understanding under no circumstances for any man who abandons his kids
And check this
Ready or not
‘Cause whether I was or not, 2008 presented me with another kid, a girl 9 years old who’s mother
As if I should understand without complaint
Said simply to me, “I think I made a mistake, you may be her father,”
So I took a DNA test and it proved to be so
Another kid, another soap opera
But again I did not run
Did not quit my job, close my bank account, jump off the nearest bridge
Oh no, stronger than that
For my son and my daughter are great loves, no matter how they came into my lives
And forever they’ll be my responsibilities
Because I am a man who believes that you must take care of your kids
By every means possible.

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