Internal Pain

We all see with our eyes
The picture of a man or woman
And what we see we may or may not like
As we all have different taste buds
But no matter how much we melt over gorgeous face, smiles, hair, bodies in general
All we’re looking at is the outside
For what hides inside
The mind, heart, soul
We cannot see, cannot hear, cannot feel
So, in essence, we do not know if there’s internal pain or not
If a person is ready to crack
From burdens that are too deep
Whether rich or poor
As pain creeps in on anybody, no discrimation on color or culture
And the answers are not always easy to figure out
But sometimes listen closely, open mind
Sometimes look, curious eyes
Sometimes ponder, is everything really ok?
Internal pain, you see, is not a disease
It is, however, something even the most unsuspecting people deal with each day
Michael Jackson the first to come to mind
And a cast of other superstars before him and during his era right up there
More will follow
Though an emotional rollercoaster is not something any of us should ever wish on anyone else
Nor want to experience ourselves
Trust me
For my life has been a rollercoaster
An on-going chase to reach the top as a writer
An on-going hunt to write myself to financial security forever for me and my children
An on-going desire just to have my written voice heard in great magnitude
And to date not all has gone my way
Not with my books, my job, my life
So my heart beats hard
My mind runs wild
Most days my stomach is so out-of-whack you’d think the bathroom is my residence
Tick, tick, tick …
I continue to do it
Internally fighting, dealing with the pain
Hoping that my day will one day come
That I’ll eventually live life to the fullest
Be as the picture many people perceive of me now
Only be it in reality, greater depth
But for now, while these thoughts dominate my mind
Nobody knows
Because they only see what’s on the outside
My smile, my voice
Apparent joy, not hidden discomfort
Tick, tick, tick …
I’m still kicking as I wish my father still was
Though I know with time comes change
Often, a lot of hurt and setbacks
But there’s always hope for better
For pain no more
For a picture that’s delightful internally as well as externally.